


All You Wanna Do: An OC SongFic

by Mothmans_Ass



Series: Lin Twins [3]
Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:54:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26563219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mothmans_Ass/pseuds/Mothmans_Ass
Summary: TW: abuse
Series: Lin Twins [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2015308





	All You Wanna Do: An OC SongFic

**Author's Note:**

> TW: abuse

Joon Lin had used people to escape since he was 16. They were passing fancies and Joon very rarely felt a genuine connection with any of them. This is the story of those few. 

_All you wanna do_

_All you wanna do, baby_

Julianna was first. 

She was a loud and unapologetic American and if we were to play more into troupes, she was the sort of girl Joons parents would disapprove of. Joon loved it. Being with her gave him a sort of high, an adrenaline rush. When she and Joon met the latter was soft-spoken, horribly shy considering his favorite pastime was other people. She had changed all of that, succeeded where his always raging sister had failed. Even better; Hana and Julianna got along exceptionally well. The two girls were close friends while Joon and Julianna delved into a whirlwind romance. She was like a storm and Joon the tree that would bend to her winds, never breaking. It was because of her that Joon desired more than just the walls of his parents home until they finally managed to marry him off. Strange how that was Joons fate. Sure he was the one inheriting the company but he was also the one being married off. Hana didn't have to deal with that, but perhaps this was some higher powers way of sparing her. She did suffer more than Joon did. Their mother ensured that. 

Maybe that was why she did it. 

Or maybe it was a mistake. A drunken tumble. Joon knew she felt guilty about it. That she always would. Joon would never forget the day he stumbled down an empty corridor, searching for his beautiful storm. He found her but she didn't see him. Her hands, her lips, they were all over his sister. Hurt and anger washed over Joon. He went back to the party, when the twins got home that night Joon remembered yelling at her. He remembered crying. What was worse-Joon remembers his sister crying too. Her guilt overwhelmed Joon so he went to bed, not wanting to talk anymore. After a few days, Joon forgave her but he couldn't bring himself to do the same for Julianna. 

Julianna, his first love, the first person he gave himself to, left him. Chose Hana and Joon was left bent from the strength of her winds. 

_And maybe this is it_

_He just cares so much, it feels legit_

_We have a connection_

_I think this guy is different_

Ai was second.

He was loud. He was hot-headed and quick to jump into a fight. He made Joon feel alive. Again. Hana didn't like Ai, she had heard he had a bad reputation when it came to relationships. Joon pointed out so did the both of them. She told him Ai was different. He was a fire, burning hot and bright. His favorite thing was pulling Joon into dark corners and kissing him until Joons lips bruised. He was two years older than 17-year-old Joon and smoked like his life depended on it. Joon had a crazy sort of rush when he was with Ai. It was like Joon was falling and he didn't know when he was going to land. The pure adrenaline rush he got whenever he snuck out of the house to see Ai kept him going. He would call Joon his Star, it made Joons heartbeat out of his chest each time. Ai _really_ liked Joons tongue piercing. 

He also really liked to drink. 

His love for fighting and drinking proved to be a dangerous cocktail. 

Sometimes it was okay. Joon could escape into the purr of Ai's voice, the feel of his lips against Joons skin. If Ai had just gotten into a fight the sex would be intense, it would leave Joon weak. But it wasn't always like that. When Ai didn't have anyone to fight when he was drunk he would turn his aggression onto Joon. Suddenly he had to hide bruises from his parents-Joon didn't miss the irony there either. But he loved him so it was different right? Ai loved Joon. Ai loved Joon. Ai loved-

He left. 

He stopped coming around and Joon stopped seeing him at parties and galas. Joon had heard he moved, left his family to run away with some model. All he was left with was the burns on his heart. The tree was growing close to snapping from it all.

_And I know this is it_

_He just cares so much, this one's legit_

_We have a real connection_

_I'm sure this time is different_

Soo-Yun was third. 

She was actually meant to be the last. The two were in the process of being paired together by their parents. Her family owned a large real estate agency and his parents had hoped to expand on their wealth. Soo-Yun was kind, quiet. She was like the first winters snow, pure and beautiful. She wasn't interested in Hana and she hated drinking and violence. When she kissed Joon it was soft and gentle, like nothing he had experienced before. Her kindness wasn't something Joon had believed he deserved. Hana didn't like her either. For once, Joon didn't care. It was strangely intimate how the two of them were. Joon felt like he could tell her everything. So one day he did. He showed her the scars, explained to her the tortures he and his sister went through together. 

She was horrified. 

But not for the reasons Joon had hoped she'd be. No, she was horrified he would show her such things. Tell her such horrors. Soo-Yun had called Joon weak. Disgusting. Her words had frozen him, breaking the already brittle branches of his heart. They parted ways after that. Somehow Soo-Yun had persuaded her parents to cancel the match and Joon heard months later that she had married some American. He closed himself off after that, only using others as means for relief. 

_Then he starts saying all this stuff_

_He cares so much, he calls me love_

_He says we have this connection_

_I guess it's not so different_

And then he met Oliver. 

When Joon met Oliver all he wanted was sex. One night and that was it. However, that didn't happen. They talked and smiled and laughed. This beautiful and sweet boy snuck into Joons heart and made him feel something he hadn't felt in a long time. He didn't have to worry about being hurt or hated. Hana liked him. Everything was perfect. Joon wanted to live, have a future where he and his sister was happy. Oliver would be with them. When Joon had finally worked up the nerve to tell Oliver about what he had gone through the boy had cried. He held Joon and told him he was beautiful. Joon hoped this warmth would last forever. 

Just as Oliver changed Joon, Joon had changed Oliver. 

He was sure it was his fault. Why else would Oliver had begun to sleep with all those other men? Joon just wasn't good enough. He tried to be. He worked so hard, made Oliver happy, and made him feel satisfied. But he never was. Oliver was always sneaking away. Joon accepted it. He deserved this. To love someone but not to be loved in return. This was just a bump in the road, all relationships had them. Besides, they were young, when it came time to actually settle down Joon trusted that Oliver would stop. He would love him and only him. 

He was too busy ignoring but yet still hyperfixating on it to notice that the tree had already withered and died. Love had turned into something else, something darker and there wasn't a cure for it. Not one that Joon knew about or would experience in the near future. He still had a few years until he was free. Until then the tree decayed and what was left froze over. 

_He just cares so much, he's devoted_

_He says we have a connection_

_I thought this time was different_

_Why did I think he was different?_

_But its never, ever different._


End file.
